What am I doing with my life?!?!?!?!

Who the f**k knows?

As we go through the education system, we are coached to believe that we will only have one career in our lifetime, and we must have this figured out by the time we are about sixteen. What?! I don't know about you, but when I was sixteen I thought that it was a good idea to go and see the Jonas Brothers in concert (don't judge me, I'm way cooler now, honest)... and this is the age they expect us to make life choices? Not gonna happen.

Me and my friends waiting patiently at the MEN arena for the Jonas Brothers.  Coolest kids in town.

 I understand many people do have a very clear plan about what they want from a very young age and I totally respect that, a number of my friends are very driven individuals and I kind of think 'go for it'. However, for those of us do not have a specific plan I am going to say DO NOT PANIC. I have spent too long trying to force myself into a direction or down a specific path and I will say from experience that it does. not. work. Okay it may be manageable, but what's the point in it all if you're not happy? I have learned the hard way that happiness is key.

Here's a theory I've been working on in the old grey matter:

If you do exactly what you love in the moment and what makes you happy, then you will live life happily and have no regrets.

My friend Hannah and I at a Bastille gig in March this year- aged 19.  If I had a photo of me aged 14 it would probably be at a My Chemical Romance gig, this is how life goes, people are constantly evolving into who they are.

As simple as it is, I think a lot of people are missing the point of life these days and schools; although well intentioned, do not help portray this effectively. It also seems like an obvious thing to say, but believe me I know far too many people who get caught up in the bulls**t that is careers guidance and knowing where to go. My careers advisor told me i should be a lexicographer (the person who writes the dictionary)... are they taking the p**s? Just because I liked English.

At the end of the day there's no jobs anyway, whether you want to be a solicitor or a nude bull tamer, so f**k it, do whatever the hell you want and if that takes you to a small one-bedroomed flat in the middle of London working in a cafe and taking night classes to live the dream, then so be it. Just do what makes you happy, nobody is getting out of this thing alive anyway.

That's it really.

Lemons on a dress isn't what one would call mainstream, but I am clearly having too much fun in this photo to care.  This is my point. Also, sorry for the amount of curse words in this post, I will try and be more inventive when angry I swear (no pun intended).

Welcome to my online articulated thought process...

The human mind is an incredibly strange and wonderful place. In the past couple of years; my own internal world has changed greatly, dragging with it new outlooks on life about who I am, and what it means to be me. 

I've learned to just do what I want (within the law) and not really give a s**t, it's liberating.

I have come to the conclusion (for now) that the 'adult' (HA) brain is something which changes everyday, and we just have to kind of roll with it. It has taken me a total of:

1 life changing trip to live abroad for three months,
2 applications to UCAS (the British university application system),
9 months on a uni course I hate just because I was afraid of changing my mind,

AND a whole load of mini breakdowns in between to realise that it is okay to just be you, whatever that is. This blog's purpose is for me to go through all of the enhancements to my 'adult' self; whether that be beauty, profound philosophical thought (unlikely, but a girl can dream, right?) and general things that I end up getting up to on my little life journey. This is not a serious blog, but I do have a slight tendency to go slightly trippy and deep with no other substance than my own untidy thought process. That's it really.

Furthermore, if you want another little nugget of reading joy, check out  justmylittlelifeandme.blogspot.co.uk not only because she is my best friend, but also it is a rather lovely read! 

P.S. If you get a chance to drink out of a jam jar: do it. It's more life changing than any old waffle I can write about.